The Guy That Got Away
I was so young, I can still remember the first day I met him. I met him through a family friend. I saw him and I immediately thought he was cute. This is my 13 year old self talking, but just thinking about him now still breaks my heart. If only things could have ended ok, I would not still suffer to this day. I guess that is why I am a 21 year old that has never dated, or been asked out, or been told that someone thinks she is cute that is not her parents. Don’t get wrong I think now being single is the best thing in the world, but as a teenager or even with all my friends in relationships it was kinda hard.
So let’s get back to him, let’s call him Phillip. I met Phillip through my parents friends. To be clear I have met most of my friends through their friends, so if you are reading this and think its you. It is a long list to narrow it down, and there is no need now as it is in the past, and I am in the present. Phillip was no ordinary guy he was a little older than me and we became kinda friends, at first it was hard, because I would just blush at the sight of him. Even when I saw him at church, I would go and say hi to him and his family.
We went to youth group, he would only come a few times, but he was so sweet and sporty and I definitely had a crush on him! Young girl of 13 years, Liking this teenage boy like he was the only boy for me. Believe me when I say I caught my self daydreaming of what it would be like to go on a date with him. I was young and confused, I guess I wanted what I saw in the movies like “Sleepover” and “High School Musical”. A year went by I knew nothing was really happen, I knew it was just a phase, but I really liked Phillip, and I wanted to tell him, because deep down inside me I thought he felt the same. So as a 14 year old girl, naive I thought what better way to tell him than through text. I think now and everyday since that was the most bold, and stupid decision I made that day. I took a deep breath and texted, “I like you!”
Let’s just say it did not work out so well, We stopped talking immediately and his family was in the midst of changing churches, so we did not see ourselves in a very long time, or ever talked about what I said that day. I can still remember his response to my text. Do you want to know? It was the open mouth emoji…Legitimately that was the last thing he said to me ever again. I wanted to dig a hole and never come out, at the same time I hated my self so much for ruining my friendship with Phillip. That is something I regret to this day, is loosing a good friend, I think I would not have cared if he told me he was not interested, but to loose a friend hurt so much more.
Fast forward to my senior year of High School, I look through the corner of my eye and I am working for a family fun night, and there he is standing, Phillip is here at my school. I think we made eye contact, I smiled and he looked away. I thought I he came to my food booth maybe I could act grown up and talk to him, at least be civil and say hi. That did not happen he was coming to my booth looked at me turned around and went to the booth furthest away. I felt the worst I could in that moment, but I knew I could not do anything as I had to serve food, but I wanted to run away and cry. I don’t know why my tears should be for him, but I thought we had grown up and could get over the past, but I guess we could not.
When I look back to the guy that got away, I now know it was the best thing that could have happened, but I ask myself why did it have to end that way? I don’t know if any of you have gone through this or even similar stories, but now as a young lady, I am more confident in my self with some trials in my past, I think they have helped me become more stable and more ready for the challenges of life.
To the guy that got away, if our paths ever again and we meet eye to eye, I will say hi, and smile, because I now know that you are not the one that is forever for me.